Psalm 127:3

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,

The fruit of the womb is a reward.

Do you remember a gift that you received for Christmas or a birthday that you were not expecting? Have you ever been rewarded with a title or reward at a school banquet that you did not expect to receive? The spark in your heart that bursts and the feeling of fulfillment builds up inside of your soul that you did not know you had, could have...or wanted. It's amazing. That feeling itself is a gift. An unexpected gift.

I want children. Lots of them. Five or six to be exact. It has always been a dream of mine. A dream placed in my heart by the Father himself ever since I could breathe. I was meant to be a mother. I know it, I feel it. And by the grace of God, in His timing, I will one day hold my own seed from my own womb, in my arms...and love. 

My heart burst. I have been fulfilled.

Who would have thought that I would have that chance to love today? Right now, everyday of my life. To love without the pain of childbirth. To love someone that does not have my own blood flowing through their veins or my DNA linking every part of their physical and emotional attributes together. I love them. My children. My precious angels. They are mine. To teach, to form into intelligent and godly individuals so they can bless this crazy unbalanced world. I have been rewarded, gifted with such an amazing heritage from the Lord that I was not expecting. 

Continue to have your way, Lord. I accept every unexpected gift.

Rightful plans.

You know how I said in my last post that God opens up doors in His timing? Well, He also chooses to open doors that goes according to His plans. Not yours, but His. Trust in His magnificent promises and all things will work out for those that truly love Him. 

Things are slowly falling into place for me and the doors that are meant to be unlocked have not been disappointing.

praise his name.

locked doors can be unlocked.

There's a door that's locked in my life. I sometimes knock, look in the peephole, peek under the crack of the door just to get a glimpse of what's going on underneath. I can hear commotion behind that door, good commotion. Beautiful chaos. I yearn to open that door. I want what's behind that door. My heart burns with a passion that can only come from God for what's behind that door. Yet, it remains closed and locked. For reasons that I'm learning everyday, that door will remain locked until God sees fit to unlock it. To be honest, I'm not ready to endure everything that comes out of it. Even those knocks, small looks, and occasional peeps turn into a complete mess.

 In God's timing, locked doors can be unlocked.

Meaningless

"Without God, everything is meaningless. There's no hope, broken things cannot be fixed, and wrongs cannot be made right. We're just fallen people living in a fallen world with nothing. Meaning nothing. Having all the wisdom and knowledge in the world results in nothing but sorrow when you don't have the one who can help you understand all of it. It's meaningless. Everything is meaningless."

*excerpt from journal on Ecclesiastes 1. 

Identity.

I always forget. I promise I know who I am when you ask me, but behind closed doors, when I'm in my room alone, do I really know. Do my actions show who I think I am? Who I was made to be? Does my faith show who I belong to? It's more than just attending Sunday services, singing the songs, leading and attending small groups. The rituals are not who I am. Do I really see myself the way Christ sees me? Do I believe that I'm truly loved by God? Do I believe that I'm beautiful because He made me? So many questions that's already been answered.

I always forget.

Don't forget.

Galatians 4:6-7 

Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, "Abba, Father." So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir.

1 Peter 2:9 

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light

Psalm 139:13-16 
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

Romans 8:30

"And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified"

You know that moment when you read something that you needed, but you didn't know you needed? Yeah, God knows. Praise the Lord.

Ecclesiastes 3:1

"There is a time for everything,

    and a season for every activity under the heaven"

This is extremely new for me considering that my thoughts, desires, and dreams have been placed in one specific area for the majority of my walk with Christ, but I'm praying for a busy season. A season full of opportunities to add to God's kingdom. A season where I'm growing and excelling in my future career. I'm ready to see what God has for me. I'm tired of looking forward to one dream and limiting myself. I'm capable of so much more. He's capable to do so much more. God places me in and out of seasons frequently and I'm praying that I embark in one where my purpose is brought to the surface. I'm ready to work.